Sunday, March 17, 2013

Non-religious wedding ceremony (created for my father's wedding) (see end for completely secular suggested changes)



Text in bold or parentheses are instructions and will not be read out loud.
text in green is easily modifyable for your completely secular service-sample recreated at the end of this post 
Prologue & welcome: (groom, best man & ring bearer ready at the stage, bride’s son walks her to the stage and stays until he gives her away)
Friends and family,
We welcome you all as we celebrate the love and life, the joining of two hearts as they unite their lives and blend their families.
Love organizes our sometimes unpredictable world, enshrining our human experience.  Love is the basis for peace of family, the greatest give bestowed on us.
Here, _____ and _____ dedicate themselves to the happiness and well-being of each other.  They have promised themselves to each other in their hearts and we are blessed to be witness to this special moment in their lives.
_____ and _____ are not beginners in life; they have each had a lifetime with experiences of pain and pleasure, joy and agony, of discovery and growth.  In marriage, two people turn to each other in search of greater fulfillment than they can achieve alone.  Marriage is a bold step taken together, toward an uncertain future.  Only in giving of ourselves fully, sharing our lives with another, can the mysterious process of growth take place.  These two come together now to declare their love and be united in marriage.
The words we say today have no magic or special powers; the power of wedding vows is merely a reflection of what exists in the hearts and spirits of these two people.  Nothing I can say, and nothing you can say will ensure a happy, satisfying and committed marriage.  Only your love for one another and your commitment can ensure a happy and satisfying marriage.
Family blessing:
What ______ and ______ do here affects the lives of others almost as profoundly as it affects their own lives.  They each have families whose lives will be entwined and with whom they will embark on this new adventure.
May the spirit of light honor and protect this union and bless these families with all that serves their highest good.  
May all that is noble and true guide these families as they move forward together, united by the love of _____ and _____.
May we always appreciate our family and friends and remember those who are alone and those who have passed on before us.
May these two families come together, and always find strength and courage in their hearts and in each other. 
Let blessings rest especially on the children for whom this is a new chapter in life.  May they soon grow within the love and security of their new relationships and in the embrace of _____ and _____’s love.
Giving of the bride:
Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
          bride’s son: “her son and daughter and grandchildren” (I don’t yet know what her son’s response will be)
(bride’s son can go sit down)
Blessing of the rings:
Please hold the rings forward: (ring bearer stands between bride and groom and holds the ring-pillow up)
These rings are simple, like your plan for your lives and happiness.  They are unbroken, like the ages they represent.  These rings are a symbol of the responsibilities you share in the bond of marriage.  They are a visible reminder that what you have promised, you will do.  May they become a living reminder of the simple, unbroken and valuable love you share.  They are a tangible symbol that you are pledged together and committed to one another for life.  We ask that nothing complicate, break, or devalue that love, that your love remains always as strong as the ring.  We ask that when _____ and _____ look on these symbols of affection, they remember this moment, this company of witnesses, family and friends who are blessing their lives, surrounding them with love, light and happiness.
(bride & groom take their rings and the ring bearer returns to original spot)
All of you who witness these vows, will you do all in your power to support and uphold these two persons in their marriage? If so, please indicate with “We will.”
Vows/ring exchange
_____ and _____, please face each other and join hands.
_____, repeat after me:
I, _____ ______, take you, ____ _____, for my lawfully wedded wife.  I promise to love you and care for you for the rest of my life.  As long as God gives me strength, I will do all in my power to make you happy and share all blessings.  I marry you because your spirit makes me whole.
_____, repeat after me:
I, _____ ________, take you, _____ ______, for my lawfully wedded husband.  I promise to love you and care for you for the rest of my life.  As long as God gives me strength, I will do all in my power to make you happy and share all blessings.  I marry you because your spirit makes me whole.
(Ring exchange)
_____, please place on _____'s finger the ring you give her as a symbol of your devotion to her, and, looking her in the eyes, repeat after me:
_____, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.  May it always serve as a symbol of my fidelity and commitment.  I intend the love I have for you now to be only the beginning of the love I will have for you as time passes.  I promise to share my life with you, whatever the future holds.  I will comfort you, confide in you, and journey with you from this day forth.
_____, please place on _____’s finger the ring you give him as a symbol of your devotion to him, and, looking in his eyes, repeat after me:
_____, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.  May it always serve as a symbol of my fidelity and commitment.  I intend the love I have for you now to be only the beginning of the love I will have for you as time passes.  I promise to share my life with you, whatever the future holds.  I will comfort you, confide in you, and journey with you from this day forth.
Pronouncement:
_____ and _____, you have found each other in the afternoon of your lives, but you will still teach each other to see new things in this union of your hearts and spirits.  YOU are a miracle to one another.  Nurture the miracle of your love.  May it never fade, but only blossom in the years ahead. 
I declare you husband and wife.  You may seal your marriage with a kiss.
Benedicto: by Edward Abbey
“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and castles and poets' towers into a dark primeval forest where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through miasmal and mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches, where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the high crags, where something strange and more beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams waits for you – beyond that next turning of the canyon walls.”
Family and friends, I am honored and humbled to present Mr. and Mrs. _____ and _____ ________. 

~thank you to those sources I used to to create this ceremony:

-quote from Edward Abbey (author)

Books:
-The Wedding Professional, Universal Ministries, Milford, IL.
-A Humanist Wedding Service, Corliss Lamont
-Baker's Wedding Handbook, Resources for Pastors, Paul Engle (Editor) 
-A Contemporary Handbook for Weddings & Funerals and other occasions, Aubrey Malphurs & Keith Willhite (editors) 
-Wedding Sermons and Marriage Ceremonies, Derl Keefer and Cheryl Rohret 
website: 
http://beautifulweddings4u.com/ceremonies.html#BLENDING_OF_FAMILIES


Modified version for completely secular ceremony with "nonsecular" words removed and suggested changes highlighted in green:



Friends and family,

We welcome you all as we celebrate the love and life, the joining of two hearts as they unite their lives and blend their families.

Love organizes our sometimes unpredictable world, enshrining our human experience.  Love is the basis for peace of family, the greatest give bestowed on us.

Here, _____ and _____ dedicate themselves to the happiness and well-being of each other.  They have promised themselves to each other in their hearts and we are proud/honored to be witness to this special moment in their lives.

_____ and _____ are not beginners in life; they have each had a lifetime with experiences of pain and pleasure, joy and agony, of discovery and growth.  In marriage, two people turn to each other in search of greater fulfillment than they can achieve alone.  Marriage is a bold step taken together, toward an uncertain future.  Only in giving of ourselves fully, sharing our lives with another, can the mysterious process of growth take place.  These two come together now to declare their love and be united in marriage.

The words we say today have no magic or special powers; the power of wedding vows is merely a reflection of what exists in the hearts and spirits of these two people.  Nothing I can say, and nothing you can say will ensure a happy, satisfying and committed marriage.  Only your love for one another and your commitment can ensure a happy and satisfying marriage.

Family commitment/devotion/celebration/dedication:

What ______ and ______ do here affects the lives of others almost as profoundly as it affects their own lives.  They each have families whose lives will be entwined and with whom they will embark on this new adventure.

May strength, courage and determination protect this union and favor, comfort and bring joy to these families with all that serves their highest good. 

May all that is noble and true guide these families as they move forward together, united by the love of _____ and _____.

May we always appreciate our family and friends and remember those who are alone and those who have passed on before us.

May these two families come together, and always find strength and courage in their hearts and in each other. 

We hope for happiness for the children for whom this is a new chapter in life.  May they soon grow within the love and security of their new relationships and in the embrace of _____ and _____’s love.

Giving of the bride:

Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

          bride’s son: “her son and daughter and grandchildren” (I don’t yet know what her son’s response will be)

(bride’s son can go sit down)

commitment/devotion/dedication of the rings:

Please hold the rings forward: (ring bearer stands between bride and groom and holds the ring-pillow up)

These rings are simple, like your plan for your lives and happiness.  They are unbroken, like the ages they represent.  These rings are a symbol of the responsibilities you share in the bond of marriage.  They are a visible reminder that what you have promised, you will do.  May they become a living reminder of the simple, unbroken and valuable love you share.  They are a tangible symbol that you are pledged together and committed to one another for life.  We ask that nothing complicate, break, or devalue that love, that your love remains always as strong as the ring.  We ask that when _____ and _____ look on these symbols of affection, they remember this moment, this company of witnesses, family and friends who are blessing their lives, surrounding them with love, light and happiness.

(bride& groom take their rings and the ring bearer returns to original spot)

All of you who witness these vows, will you do all in your power to support and uphold these two persons in their marriage? If so, please indicate with “We will.”

Vows/ring exchange

_____ and _____, please face each other and join hands.

_____, repeat after me:

I, _____ ______, take you, ____ _____, for my lawfully wedded wife.  I promise to love you and care for you for the rest of my life.  As long as I have strength, I will do all in my power to make you happy and share all good things.  I marry you because your spirit makes me whole.

_____, repeat after me:

I, _____ ________, take you, _____ ______, for my lawfully wedded husband.  I promise to love you and care for you for the rest of my life.  As long as God gives me strength, I will do all in my power to make you happy and share all blessings.  I marry you because your spirit makes me whole.

(Ring exchange)

_____, please place on _____'s finger the ring you give her as a symbol of your devotion to her, and, looking her in the eyes, repeat after me:

_____, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.  May it always serve as a symbol of my fidelity and commitment.  I intend the love I have for you now to be only the beginning of the love I will have for you as time passes.  I promise to share my life with you, whatever the future holds.  I will comfort you, confide in you, and journey with you from this day forth.

_____, please place on _____’s finger the ring you give him as a symbol of your devotion to him, and, looking in his eyes, repeat after me:

_____, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.  May it always serve as a symbol of my fidelity and commitment.  I intend the love I have for you now to be only the beginning of the love I will have for you as time passes.  I promise to share my life with you, whatever the future holds.  I will comfort you, confide in you, and journey with you from this day forth.

Pronouncement:

_____ and _____, you have found each other in the afternoon of your lives, but you will still teach each other to see new things in this union of your hearts and minds.  YOU are a miracle to one another.  Nurture the miracle of your love.  May it never fade, but only blossom in the years ahead. 

I declare you husband and wife.  You may seal your marriage with a kiss.

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